Atheist meme

Alright, alright, I’ll do my duty to our self-replicating overlords!

I’ve been tagged by Splendid Elles, and now also by Metro State Atheists, to do this meme, and since I forgot to do the last one Elles tagged me for I’d better do an extra-special job on this one.

Can You Remember The Day That You Officially Became An Atheist?

Well, there are several answers to this question. Of course, before I was old enough to understand ideas of religion I was an atheist by default. But I need to explain my religious upbringing in order to answer more fully. I was raised as a Reform Jew (my dad is Jewish and my mom is Catholic) and when I was little I went with my dad to synagogue many times. I also attended Hebrew school two days a week for several years, learning Hebrew and stories from the Torah. I’m sure that for some of that time I did actually believe in God and take those stories literally, but by the time I was twelve I felt uncomfortable there, partly because I was starting to not believe.

The specific day that I came out as an atheist I remember very well: since I was almost thirteen, my dad asked me when I wanted to have my bat mitzvah, and that’s when I told him that I didn’t think I should have one because I wasn’t sure I believed in God. My dad, with the help of the rabbi, tried to assure me that it was okay to not believe in God and still be a Jew, but I said that I felt I wouldn’t be true to myself if I went through the motions without really believing. (I didn’t appreciate at the time how great it was that my parents, and even the rabbi, were so open in saying that it’s okay not to believe in God. One of my goals as a fledgeling atheist activist is to help people understand that it’s okay to be an atheist, something that few people ever hear from their parents and religious leaders.) (I also have come to understand that it really is possible to be a Jew and not believe in God. Judaism, more than many other religions, is as much a culture and a heritage as a religious belief, and there are plenty of Jews who consider themselves atheists, humanists, etc. while still following many of the cultural traditions of Judaism. For me I think it’s too late though–I’ve distanced myself so much from Judaism in my mind that I don’t feel any connection to the traditions and the culture.)

Do you remember the day you officially became an agnostic?

No, and it definitely wasn’t a single day. I had been calling myself an atheist for several years when I first heard the term “agnostic”, and at that point I considered the words “atheist” and “agnostic” to be different positions on the spectrum of belief. Of course no one but an idiot would claim to have complete knowledge and to know absolutely that no gods exist, but nevertheless I distinguished my position from that of an agnostic by calling myself a “practical atheist”. I reasoned (and still do) that although we can’t know with absolute certainty, we don’t need absolute certainty for all practical purposes. In the face of the utter lack of evidence for gods, our complete failure to find such evidence in any sufficiently rigorous test, and the simplicity and plausibility of other explanations for both events previously attributed to gods and for the existence of religion itself, I am as sure of the nonexistence of any god as a rational person can be. I am as sure that there are no gods as I am that the sun will rise tomorrow, and for much the same reason. This reasoning is shared by many self-described atheists all over the world, including Richard Dawkins and the late Douglas Adams, both of whom have written similarly on the subject.

I probably first heard the word “agnostic” in ninth grade, when I first started getting into religious discussions with friends. I chose to make a distinction between my position and agnosticism as it was first defined to me–in the middle of the spectrum, not leaning toward either side but claiming “I don’t know”–for the reason discussed above. I felt that the word “atheist” is too useful and descriptive a term to waste it on the few silly people who claim absolute certainty, and a much better description of my position than “agnostic”. Since that time, however, I’ve read a number of essays on the subject that have convinced me that the terms “atheist” and “agnostic” are much better defined as describing two different but related qualities, rather than mutually exclusive positions along a spectrum. The words “theist” and “atheist” specifically refer to belief or nonbelief in a deity–either you do have a positive belief in a deity, in which case you’re a theist, or you don’t have a positive belief, in which case you’re an atheist. It’s also possible to have a positive belief in a lack of a deity, in which case you’re still an atheist since you can’t consistently also believe in a deity. By this definition, I am an atheist, as are Dawkins, Adams, etc., along with a lot of people who prefer to call themselves agnostics. But the terms “gnostic” and “agnostic” are referring to something different: a state of knowledge. You can be gnostic, in which case you claim to know that there is a god or that there is no god, or you can be agnostic, meaning that you don’t claim certain knowledge either way. In this sense nearly all self-described atheists, myself included, are agnostic because we don’t claim absolute knowledge. So more specifically I am an agnostic atheist, although I refer to my position primarily as just “atheist”, and I have been ever since I became an atheist.

How about the last time you spoke or prayed to God with actual thought that someone was listening?

Hmmm…the only time I can remember is once at a Yom Kippur service when I was pretty young. I was a pretty sensitive kid and a prime target for the teasing of my schoolmates, and at that age I was really affected by it. So during the service when the rabbi asked us to bow our heads and pray silently, I begged God to please, please make them stop making fun of me. (In case you’re wondering whether the prayer worked, I’d say not. Eventually, the teasing died off, but not until high school and it’s pretty clear that that should be attributed to a combination of all of us growing up and my own growing sense of self-worth and attitude of “their opinions aren’t the ones that matter to me”.)

Did anger towards God or religion help cause you to be an atheist or agnostic?

Nope, most certainly not. I think it was more that I never had a really strong belief, and so I drifted more and more into the default position of not believing unless I could find evidence for a god. On the other hand, once I was more sure of my nonbelief I spent several years as a very belligerent atheist, wanting to pick fights and get into religious debates with anyone I could. (I still do, but I try to limit myself to circumstances where it’s appropriate.)

Here is a good one: Were you agnostic towards ghosts, even after you became an atheist?

I don’t think I ever believed in ghosts, except maybe when I was very little. For a long time I was hopeful, to the point of almost believing, about magic in general though. I have always been interested in fantasy stories, mythology, unicorns, dragons, talking animals and so on, and I sure spent a lot of time hoping any of that could be true. But for the most part I recognized magic as a really fun thing to imagine and read about but not at all supported by any real evidence.

Do you want to be wrong?

Do I want to be wrong? Sure, about lots of things. I’d like to be wrong about how much money I have in the bank, by about a million dollars. I’d like to be wrong about the fact that I probably won’t be the one to solve P=NP (which would also make me wrong about the million dollars). But about religion? Nah, not really. If I am wrong I’d certainly accept it, but I do pretty much think we’re better off without deities, just like we’re better off without kings, or anyone else who gets our deference and respect without earning it just because they’re bigger than us or have certain ancestors. The idea of a god who created us and watches over us seems degrading to me–are we just playthings made by a bored deity who treats us like children? How much better to know that this is not the case, that out of a nonconscious, meaningless universe, we humans have arisen with our consciousness, our ability to create meaning, and our ability to examine ourselves and the universe around us, with no help from anyone but each other!

Okay, the problem with these memes is that I don’t really like tagging that much, but I’ll do it anyway. How about Skeptic’s Play, Perky Skeptic, and Elliptica? No obligation of course, and if anyone else wants to do it, consider yourself tagged!